The Top 5 Worst Halloween "Treats":
Halloween is supposed to be a joyous occasion for kids. You get to dress up like an idiot and terrorize the neighborhood, and then for some reason get rewarded with sweet, delicious candy.
But that's not always the case, is it? Sometimes you don't get sweet, delicious candy. Sometimes you get utter crap. Such as:
5) Circus peanuts. Scientists still haven't been able to discover what these actually are, but it's probably best for all that no one ingest them to find out.
4) Healthy stuff. I appreciate that you're a doctor and all and want to teach us neighborhood kids a good-old-fashioned nutrition lesson, but you're about to learn a lesson of your own: how to clean egg off your front door.
3) Loose change. Seriously, old neighbor who clearly forgot it was Halloween and just started pulling things out of her purse? Seriously?
2) Opened candy. Oh my God, it's a whole box of Whoppers. Oh my God, it's not even a Fun Size, it's the big one! Oh my-oh, it's open. Mom, no. Mom, give it back! NOOO I HATE YOU
1) Office supplies. Pencils, huh? That's what you're bringing to the table here? Where do you do your Halloween shopping, Staples?
I have a particular beef with this last one because my neighbor across the street was a judge, and he always gave out these weird two-eraser pencils that were shaped like gavels (or, to the more creative mind, hammerhead sharks). Now, not only were these things hideous, but they were also damn near impossible to use. The erasers were hard, didn't erase, and were extremely awkward, because no one in their right mind would ever try to erase something sideways.
I did, however, discover that they were quite effective as weapons, as my poor little sister's oft-thumped noggin can attest.
Thanks for having me, and happy reaping reading!
Author: Gina Damico
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 311 Pages (March 20th, 2012)
Add to: Goodreads
Synopsis: Fed up with her wild behavior, sixteen-year-old Lex's parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape.
But Uncle Mort's true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He's a Grim Reaper. And he's going to teach Lex the family business.
She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next. But Lex can't stop her desire for justice - or is it vengeance? - whenever she encounters a murder victim, craving to stop the attackers before they can strike again.
Will she ditch Croak and go rogue with her reaper skills?
Author: Gina Damico
Publisher: Graphia, 332 Pages (September 25th, 2012)
Add to: Goodreads
Synopsis: Sixteen-year-old Lex Bartleby is a teenage grim reaper with the bizarre ability to damn souls. That makes her pretty scary, even to fellow Grims. But after inadvertently transferring her ability to Zara, a murderous outlaw, Lex is a pariah in Croak, the little town she calls home.
To escape the townspeople’s wrath, she and her friends embark on a wild road trip to DeMyse. Though this sparkling desert oasis is full of luxuries and amusements, it feels like a prison to Lex. Her best chance at escape would be to stop Zara once and for all—but how can she do that from DeMyse, where the Grims seem mysteriously oblivious to Zara’s killing spree?
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Gina, thanks for sharing about bad Halloween Candy! Great post and I have to agree with everything BUT Circus Peanuts. I kinda love those things. Also, thanks SO much for donating the prize pack and signed book.
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