The post you are about to read is 100 % **Role Play
All the characters represented here (@Tohrment_BDB, @Wellsie_BDB, @Wrath_BDB, @DariusBDB & @Scribe_Virgin) with the exception of Jessica and myself are **Role Players from a group on twitter. They have agreed to role play with us to help celebrate not only our Halloween Event, but also to help share our love for the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by author J.R. Ward, as these Role Players are also huge fans of J.R. Ward's works.
PLEASE BE AWARE THAT NO ONE with this site/blog, Jessica’s site/blog nor the role-playing group - which you can find with the list of twitter accounts provided - is in any way, shape or form connected to or affiliated with J.R. Ward. No one present or represented here is J.R. Ward, nor is the role playing intended for any purpose other than the personal enjoyment of the Role Players involved.
Warning: This story contains mature and adult themes.
True fear is something I never expected to cross paths with. For me it can only be described as the blood boiling, chest constricting, unpredictable grip of an unexpected assailant. In my centuries of existence I’ve only experienced it once. I want to forget it, but its indelible print has tangled itself with my mind.
I’m a warrior and my mind is not weak, nor is my body. I have but one Achilles heel, my mate, my shellan, my sole purpose for breathing air. I remember the first time our bond was threatened, a twelve hour ordeal that submerged me in the very depths fear.
Humans feel safe in the sunshine, it’s the things that go bump in the night that they fear. For vampires the sun is an undiscriminating executioner and there aren’t second chances, no mercy.
They -whoever “they” are- say that sharing your experience can help you rid your mind of it. Somehow I don’t believe that, but it’s worth a shot, true?
It wasn’t too long ago in terms of my existence but it was before the advent of cell phones - before my shellan was with young.
I was out hunting with my brothers Wrath and Darius and it had been a good night; we took down an even dozen of our putrid smelling enemies. We said our goodbyes and headed out in different directions to finish the job by collecting the jars. It was an easy split, four jars each.
I noticed that the sun was dangerously close to rising as I made my way to the cave. From the looks of things my brothers had already been there. I knew I didn’t have much time. Wellsie had spent the evening with one her few friends, it helped alleviate her nerves to spend time with someone when I was out hunting. When we said goodnight, her parting words were, “Meet you just before sunrise.” We sealed the goodbye with a kiss.
As soon as the jars were in place, I dematerialized back to our house only to find that the steel barricades had already shut me out. Panic licked at my ribs as the light in the sky was rapidly changing. My heart begin to pound inside my chest and my mind began to race. I had to think but could hardly organize my thoughts. Knocking on the door wouldn’t have worked; the steel barrier was made to stay in place. I tried to think of another shelter I could dematerialize to, but nothing came to mind. I looked at the ground and felt sickened as I thought about being underneath it but I had so little time to think things through. In the grip of panic I felt I was left with a singular, terrifying option.
I tore around the outside of the house looking for whatever I could to shield myself from the sun. I found a shovel, a rusty old pipe and a tattered, sun-bleached tarp. I began digging at a feverish pace, depositing the dirt on the tarp as I raced against my fiery nemesis. When the temporary crypt was large enough to accommodate me I took a deep breath, feeling sick about what I had to do if I had any hope of surviving the day. I took the pipe between my bare hands and summoning all my strength bent it a few inches at one end, placing it in the corner of my makeshift shelter - this would be my access to air. I stripped off my jacket that was slick with the sweat from my efforts, and wrapped it around my head. The sun began to peak above the horizon just as I lowered myself into the grave. I took one last inhale of the fresh air before gripping the ends of the dirt covered tarp and pulling it over myself. Let me tell you, burying yourself alive is not for the faint of heart, hell it’s not even for the most vigorous of warriors.
I fitted my mouth over the end of the pipe, recoiling at the metallic taste. Even though the makeshift airway worked, I felt like I was immediately suffocated. My first instinct was to suck in the air and when I did, I got a mouthful of dirt. Oh shit, this is it. I thought maybe I hadn’t made sure the pipe cleared the surface before I realized I was actually breathing through the thing. I was aware I needed to calm myself down if I was going to survive the day.
Tears pricked in my eyes at the thought of Wellsie. My greatest concern was for her well being. I knew she must be frightened, panicked that I hadn’t called or shown up after my night of hunting. My chest constricted at the thought of the strife my error was likely causing her. I bit my tongue, drawing blood, in order to hold off sobbing over our unprecedented separation. Despite my strength, my movement was limited by the weight of the dirt. It was dark and quiet, the only thing I heard was my labored breathing and the thoughts in my head.
I thanked the Scribe Virginfor the watch I had worn; its face illuminated with the push of a button. It was my only link to the changes on the outside besides the sun-warmed air I breathed through the pipe. I lingered there in my dirty hollow, afraid to sleep though my body ached with fatigue. I thought of Wellsie - God I thought of her - allowing myself to remember with vivid recall the feeling of her skin against my fingertips, her body pressed to mine, the sweet smell of her hair and the delicious sanguine tang of her blood.
I thought about my brothers, the warriors who knew me like no others. I was acutely aware that if I didn’t survive this I would be failing myself as well as them. This was not an honorable way to die. If I was to surrender to the Fade before I was ready I wanted it to be defending my race, not in a hole I had dug for myself.
Four hours in, sweat was rolling down my head at the temples, but I couldn’t rearrange myself to wipe it away. My nostrils were thickly lined with dust and the smell of warm leather, my mouth sour with the taste of lead. Tremors started assailing me, wracking my body in an uncomfortable shake for what seemed like hours but was less than thirty minutes in actuality. I was shaking with such force I was afraid I might break through the tarp and dirt barrier that was protecting me. That’s about the time when the effects on my body ceased and my mind took over.
I was assaulted with visions of my shellan; the first time I had seen her and the undeniable urge to mark her and claim her as mine, the moment I actually did just that. I relived the day of our mating and the countless times I had taken her in my arms since. I saw her laughing, and joyful, her beautiful curls falling over her shoulders as her head fell back. My mind screamed at me to unearth myself and go to her, fighting its own instinct to survive. My muscles flexed and tensed; the separation was destroying me. I wondered if this was what happened before you went into the Fade; the images were so real I could almost touch them. I started to question whether I could make it; I started to question what fate actually had in store for me. I felt my throat close as I recalled her last words to me - they snaked through my mind on a never ending loop, “Meet you just before sunrise.”
Eight hours in my will was hanging by a thread. A lump had formed in my already tight throat and I tried to swallow it down, but that only seemed to make it angrier, larger. I was coated in a film of dried sweat and dirt and my blood had slowed in my veins. I was fading; I was losing my grip. I expected to be stronger in my confinement, but I was drifting as I begged the ScribeVirgin for the strength I needed to make it through.
With one hour to go, I thought my mental strength would resurface but in reality it was the exact opposite. I was twitching, aggravated, feral, wanting nothing more than to escape my imprisonment. Coherent thought escaped me and for a moment I forgot where I was. The battle for survival was so close to being won but in a moment of surrender I peeled my lips away from my airway and took in a lungful of dirt. I was choking, aware but unaware of what was happening. The Fade was so close I could sense it but then I heard it...her.
Don’t leave me Tohr, my hellren, my heart. Don’t leave me.
I knew it must have been a hallucination but it sucked me back into my entrapped body and I positioned my lips on the pipe, sucking in the warm oxygen from above. The thought of leaving Wellsie behind shredded my stomach, the pain searing me from the inside, and the fear of not making it consumed me entirely. I was so close to my salvation but I truly didn’t know if I could survive the agonizing 32 minutes left of my internment. Suddenly, the need to protect my shellan dominated me. I started hyperventilating, which was dangerous in the small space. I thought about the Brotherhood and how another man down only gave the opposition strength. My stomach rumbled, churning with acid and I felt as though I might be physically ill. All because I had miscalculated my time by just a few moments.
The last five minutes were the most unbearable. As if it could sense its impending escape, my heart raced at a frantic clip, pummeling my chest from the inside out. I could barely breathe and though the small space was humid and uncomfortably warm, I broke out in a cold sweat. I tried to focus my mind but it wouldn’t listen to my urgent command. The faces of my brothers and my shellan flashed through my head; I saw centuries full of memories in that small space of time.
Not a moment after I knew it was safe to emerge, I exploded from my grave, bursting through the dirt into the safety of dusk. I inhaled deeply before letting the roar of freedom escape from my lungs. On shaky legs I ran at a frenetic pace, driven by the fact that I wasn’t fulminating and the overwhelming desire to see my shellan.
I ripped through the front door to find her. She was sitting on the bottom step, tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks, causing my heart to lurch forward violently in my chest. When she saw me, what must have been disbelief widened her eyes and her jaw went slack.
I heard her gasp before jumping to her feet and running over to me, closing the gap between us in seconds. She threw her arms around my neck, kissing my dusty face and I squeezed her tightly against me. The fear was replaced by need as I felt the warmth of her skin beneath her thin gown.
She sobbed heavily, shattering me. I knew I was the cause of her pain. “Shhhh,” I soothed her, wiping away her tears with my thumb, leaving a smudge of dirt in its wake. “It’s okay, I made it. I’m here.”
“What happened? Why are you covered in dirt?” As soon as the question left her pouty lips, her face changed and I knew without asking she had figured it out. “Oh, Tohr...” she trailed off, pain evident in her voice.
“Don’t cry, leelan.” The sight of her in tears was unbearable, it crushed me.
She let out a deep sigh. “I’m trying to stop... I’m just shaken. Somehow I knew you were okay except for this one moment, when I felt you slip away. I begged out loud for you to hear me, for you to stay with me. If you left you were taking my heart with you.”
I flashed back to the sound of her voice in my head, the one I was sure was a hallucination. Realization washed over me and chill shot up my spine with the force of an electric shock.
The fear had not won out, but it would have claimed me if it weren’t for her, my tether, my heart, my soul, my Wellsie.
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Thank you so much to @Tohrment_BDB and all the other chracters from the Black Dagger Brotherhood Twitter Role Play group for all the time and effort they have been puting in to help us celebrate not only Halloween and our event, but also our love for all that is the Brotherhood and J.R. Ward.
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Check out Jessica's Haunted Halloween post with..........
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–verb (used with object)
1. to assume the attitudes, actions, and discourse of (another), esp. in a make-believe situation in an effort to understand a differing point of view or social interaction: Management trainees were given a chance to role-play labor negotiators.
2. to experiment with or experience (a situation or viewpoint) by playing a role: trainees role-playing management positions.
–verb (used without object)
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